Parenting…What Is With All The Comparing.

I was thinking today, about the people I know who are having babies, raising toddlers, kiddos and teens and how we are all doing the same thing. We are trying to raise healthy, kind, good humans. Throughout this parenting journey, we have similar questions, from “why is their poo that colour!” to “are we seriously having a tantrum over the colour of our swirly straw” to “Am I honestly getting the third degree for just asking, how your day ways”.

We read books, blogs, join parenting groups, see a counsellor, parenting coach, sleep coach and compare our children to other children. When really there is not one way to do this, if there was, we would all be doing it. There is only your best way. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge believer in community, knowledge, and educating yourself. But not when those tools become ways to doubt yourself, put pressure on yourself or start negatively impacting your wellbeing.

So, my advice, stop the comparing. Start to ask yourself some key questions:

1)    what are our core values as parents?

2)    what do we want to instill with our children?

3)    what are the best parts of us that we can share with our children?

4)    what are the worst parts of us that we can share with our children?

5)    what does communication look like in our house, how can we do better?

6)    what do my children love to do? Are we doing that?

7)    when we are with our children, are we present?

And know, you will fail, we are not perfect, there are going to be some tough days, weeks, and possible years. If you are always trying to be your best, putting your best self forward, and owning your mistakes and sharing that with your family. Only good, kind, and healthy humans can come from an environment like that.

Remember asking for help, is not the same as comparing.